You Choose.

When I was young I was fortunate to have the perfect baby.  I had a little girl and she was perfect!!!(she still is)  She was the type of child who would fold up into a little ball of sorrow if she was ever told no or had to be corrected. It was like she was so ashamed of herself for not being good.  I only remember having to tell her no once and that was it.  The sad little face and cry. She would sit and look at books, sing to herself, and just be content.  I never had to worry about her getting into anything. If I ever asked her to do anything she would do it right away.  I was thinking hey, this motherhood is not to bad.  THEN IT HAPPENED!!!!!!  He came roaring into the world and did not stop.  Everything became his and he let us all know it. Touch, throw, drop, eat, and  rule his kingdom. I think I spent the first year of his life sitting in a rocking chair singing to him and trying to soothe him so he would go to sleep.  He wanted it all and let us know.  Shortly after his 2nd birthday little brother came into our home and then the fun really began.  Where the first was a vocal commander the second was a climber.  He was climbing before he could even walk.  One day I found him on top of the table in the cookie jar.  He didn't even know how to walk yet. Then number 3 joined the party. Just 11 short months after number 2 came into the "wild" house.  I had two babies under 1, plus the tornado, and the princess.  I look back and wonder how I did it. I had a lot of help from my husband.  He would walk in from work and his shift would begin.  BUT,  to add to this mix!!!! Money was tight....really tight... so I decided to tend the neighbor kids.  Their mom's had to work and I was at home. So along came 2 boys from next door.  A 5 year old and a 4 month old.  Then along came the three from around the corner. Six, Four, and 16 months.  I had nine kids all day everyday.  It sounds crazy but it really worked well.  They had all day friends and I was able to monitor what they were doing.  The little ones would all have naps. (they loved to do anything as long as together.) We had a menu and would all sit down together for our lunch.  I was able to bake, tend, and keep them all happy. They all knew that discipline was missing play time with others as they would have to sit in a chair doing time-out in a room by themselves.  I think listening to all their friends have fun was a great punishment.  I didn't have to do much of that.  Each day before their mom's got there they were required to clean up all their toys and the house was probably the cleanest I ever had it. I was able to potty train four of them in the same week. They would each take a turn on the potty then everyone would cheer and clap and they would get a sticker.  They loved it.  Once a week when the babies were a little older we would go on a field trip. I had a van that we would go in and went all kinds of places. (My husband use to call it "the rolling playpen.")  I had three strollers and the two oldest being girls loved to push the babies. I would push one too.  It just worked.. In my  tending I realized something that I use today. I taught them to choose.  You choose to mind or sit in the chair. You choose to nap or you don't get a snack after. You choose to clean up or you don't get to play with the toys again today.  I still use that very often with my grand's. I have several that have pretty strong attitudes about listening and minding.  At my house they get to make the choice and live with the consequences.  So far it has worked well.  It just gives them that little boost of self esteem that they need when they know I will let them "choose." Even if its not quite what they wanted to do. I think it helped all of my children to know that there were choices and consequences in life in all we do. I hope it helped.
      We all have choices we make in our lives. Things that we do or don't do that we should.  I have to make many choices each day to continue on my healthy journey. I have to choose the things I eat and if I exercise  and even what type of exercise.  I have to live with the choices I make. Sometimes when I eat stuff that contains a lot of sugar I do feel it the next day.  My Fibromyalgia seems to bother me a little more and I ache. I have learned (over and over) that I don't like  to feel like that so most days I do pretty good with eating healthy foods.  It is not an easy thing to make the right choices but I know that if I do them I like the consequences. One of the best choices I made was to begin on my journey to a more healthy life and to enjoy the miracles I have been given. I encourage you each to choose to begin or continue on your own healthy journey and don't spend one more day of your life sitting in a time-out watching and hearing the others around you playing and enjoying life.

Summer flyby.

Where did this summer go? It seems like a whirlwind blew and scattered all the days.  This week  I began my joyful time of driving to my son's home  early in the morning to get two of my grand's off to school.  I have to say that first day back was a great morning. The one grand has started 6th grade and going to a big school.  Riding on the bus and class changes are a big adventure. He headed out the door at 6:45 excited and looking forward to going next door and "picking up" his friend to walk to the bus stop together. As I stood out in the front yard and watch them they were walking up the street, heads leaning into each other, and giggling as they walked.  They seemed to be so happy. The childhood joys of a best friend. It is so fun to watch this boy grow into a man. Then the younger. The second grade King of Riverside.  He is a little lost without his big brother walking with him to school. He had a plan already worked out. He was going to ride his bike. (I use to walk with the two of them but he would not have any of that walking stuff today.) He was riding his bike. His orange Mongoose. I told him he couldn't ride it today because he didn't know how to do his combination lock.  Well after he showed me 5 times he could do it he won that challenge. The next was he couldn't ride unless he wore a helmet. He promptly showed me that he could wear his brothers and it fit fine. Then the argument if brother's get taken during the day then he would have to buy him a new one.  No problem there are he ran and showed me the money he had been saving for allowance. After that we had to call dad and ask permission. That was reluctantly given with instructions to stay on the one side of road, walk the bike across the busy intersection, and to be careful.  So off we went, he on his bike and me following in the car some distance behind(I think we have all done that with a child or grand.)  He did great! One time he even turned to look at me following him and gave me the thumbs up. There were at least 15 other children riding bikes and scooters down that street with mom's and dad's following!!! So our new year has began. It will be challenging and exciting. One of the greatest joys my son and I have enjoyed is watching those two boys blossom into kind, friendly, happy, competent, content little people. I am glad I get to share this time with them.

Recommending a video series.

I try to not post or promote things but I think this one is important.  I received a magazine from the Southwest Utah Public Health Foundation and in it was a Film Review. In reading the review I realized that I had seen this series before.  I watched it in 2008 when I believe it was released. I remember at that time I was horrified and terrified because of the problems I had with my health and my weight. I watch it and cried and swore to myself that I was going to change and lose the weight. Well it must have not scared me enough because by 2010 I was at least 50 pounds heavier and in worse physical shape.  As I watched it again I was again horrified and terrified but not for myself.  I thought of family and friends that struggle with both health and weight issues. I am sad that I cannot do for them what they have to do themselves.  I wonder about what we as a society are doing to our young children. How can we teach and help them when it is such a struggle ourselves.  My mind has been whirling with so many emotions and sadness. I recommend you watch this. It probably will horrify and terrify some of you. My hope is that it will also inspire, challenge, educate, and encourage you to take that first step and then continue on moving into a healthy journey.   WARNING: The videos are graphic and have some Renaissance paintings that contain nudity. It is not something to watch with children. Autopsy and diseased organs are also shown. It is free to view online at: https://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/films.

Aunt Myrl

I attended the funeral of my Aunt Myrl a few days ago and have had it on my mind since. It was a beautiful service with all her children speaking.  They all gave wonderful tributes about their mom. She truly was an amazing woman. One of her children in giving tribute said that the Boy Scout Law described my Aunt.  A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.  She also lived the Scout Motto: Be Prepared and The Scout Slogan: Do a good turn daily!   What beautiful words to describe a mother. She had all those wonderful qualities and more.   What a wonderful example she was to all of us.  She will be greatly missed.

Birthday Gift

Several days ago it was my 61st birthday.  I want to thank all of you who sent me birthday wishes and encouragement.  My brother who is just 1 year and 2 weeks behind me sent me a message the night before my birthday.  I am sure it was to give me a little jab but I really enjoyed reminding him that the big 60 was heading his way.  My daughter-in-law informed her friends on facebook that she was celebrating her birthday week with instructions that the perfect gift would be to bring her cookies from Dutchman's market.  Now technically it is still my week. The calendar states Sunday is the first day of the week. Her birthday is Monday July 21st. so she will have to wait until Monday of next week for her cookies from the Dutchman market(if you ask me) or she has to share with me!!!!!!! As I have thought of this "birthday week,"  I have decided that I could give a gift to others for my birthday.  I have decided to donate blood.  The soonest I can get an appointment is next Monday.  I have donated before and as a former nurse know the wonderful things that donated blood can do to help other people who are in need.  I know that July of each year is when there is a critical shortage of blood products available.  I want to encourage all of you that can donate to take an hour and pass on the gift of life.  It is one small way I can show how grateful I am for the miracle I call my life.

I don't belong.

I read this post on FB from a young woman that I know and it spiraled me back into my past and also prompted a lot of thinking. "I don't belong."  I grew up in a small town that almost everyone was of the same faith.  My dad had chosen to not follow the teachings that he grew up with and so did not participate. My mom did what she could to encourage us to go to church and participate.  We knew that we were different. I struggled and longed to "belong." I was so lucky to have a friend I met at a very young age that also had those same struggles. We clung to each other.  I knew everybody and I felt I was very judged. I was told that I was not welcome at some of my friends home. I was accused of smoking and told I should be ashamed of myself. (my dad smoked and the odor would linger on our clothes.) Some of my group of teenage friends were not allowed to sleep over at my house when we had our "old maid" parties. (when we didn't have a date to the school dances.) It was always in the back of my mind, "I'm different, I don't belong."  I like to think it made me more open and accepting to others.  I think not belonging made me stronger and better.  I don't want to belong if it means leaving others out because they are "not like" me.  I also thought about this young woman. I have know her since she was a little girl. Not closely but have know of her and a few of the things she has be through  in her life.  When we reconnected I was so thrilled at what a sweet and amazing young woman she has become.  I have also had contact with another young woman who is struggling with her own, "I don't belong." I watch her trying so hard to please others and gain their acceptance and love. She so wants to belong. She has made some choices that have impacted a lot of lives. Not just her own. I hope that someday she realizes that she is wonderful just the way she is. We all go through times in our lives where we feel we don't belong. How we handle it can make a big impact on our lives and the lives of others.   I also thought of a friend that I met in rehab. (she has been on my mind a lot this week because my son bought her car from her and I have been driving it.)  She was a strong amazing women.  She struggled so much with belonging. She had lost so much with the choices she made but she was fighting back. I was able to spend quite a bit of time with her after we were both out. We would talk frequently and would go to lunch. She was happy.  One day she called me and we talked for several hours.  She told me that her life was finally what she had hoped for. She was in love and looking forward to moving and living her life. She was making a choice to live her life the way she wanted and not the way others had told her she should do to "belong."  The next day she took her own life. Perhaps the pressure of "belonging," was to much I will never know. 
       I have realized that the things I wanted to belong to when I was younger are not important. I really don't care if someone likes me or not anymore. If I am judged by someone, "that is their problem." I think that not belonging has made me tough. I wish I had know what I know now about "belonging." As I watch these young women and see them struggle I wish I could somehow let them know for themselves that they belong.  Choose the things that are important in life to belong to and let the rest go. We all belong.

Way Up High in a Cherry Tree!

One of the first jobs I ever had was picking Cherries.  I don't remember how old someone had to be to be able to pick but I was in my early teens.  I had watched my sister go and make summer money and I was anxious to start making my millions.(at least it seemed like she had made millions to me.) One year it happened! I was old enough. Now to begin. Early, early on a summer morning I woke up to a still dark sky. Got my lunch and went out to sit on the porch and wait for my ride. I had my lunch, hat, and jacket for my new adventure. There was always a cool canyon breeze and often the faint scent of a skunk in the air. Soon I could hear an old truck starting and stopping along the way as it stopped to pick up the neighborhood kids who were also going to work. Around the corner it came. In the back leaning against the tall wooden rack were kids of all sizes. Each with their own hat, jacket, and lunch. We knew to hold on tight with the frequent stops and starts. When all had been gathered up the canyon road to the bench we would go.  When we got there we were each given a bucket and a tree to work on. The buckets would be tied to our waists because it was a sad day when you dropped your almost full bucket to the ground. I loved to get up on the tall tripod ladder into the top of the trees. Each kind of cherry had to be picked a certain way.  The sweet cherries had to be picked with their stems intact. That would make your fingers sore after a while and seemed to take forever to fill that bucket. There was also a lot of sampling while picking and pit spitting contests. Ohhhh, the taste of a warm Bing cherry. We would work until it started to get warm. I am not sure how long. Maybe until noon. If it was a good tree and a good day that bucket had been filled and dumped several times. We would take them to the owner and he would weigh what we had picked and keep a tally of how we did each day. There was always activity going on in the orchard. Ladders being moved, kids climbing the trees(if you broke a limb you got a scolding)buckets being dumped gently, and a lot of pit spitting. I had a friend that would work along side me in the same tree or a neighboring tree. We would sit up in the tree picking and singing songs we made up about cherries.  I am sure we were so annoying now as I look back but we had a lot of fun. We would keep going until from the branches of another tree we would hear someone scream...."will you two shut up." To this day when I go into the store and see a nice big dark red cherry the song pops into my head. "Cherry, Cherry, Bing Cherry, Bing Cherry, Bing!!!!" I don't remember for sure what I made per pound for the cherries. I am thinking 25 cents a pound.  It was a short season. Maybe two weeks and then again later in the summer when the sour(pie) cherries came on. That was a lot of money to me. It did feel like a million bucks.