Friday, May 22, 2015
Many of you have contacted me and asked me, "how do you keep going?" I have thought about this and want to give you some answers and ideas. I always want to remind you that my way might not be the best way for you. I didn't know it would be the best for me when I started each of these things. The most important thing is, my journey is my journey. Your journey is your journey. They will be different. Our bodies are not going to respond the same way to things. Foods that impact me to gain or lose might do the opposite for you. So here we go with some ideas that work for me. I took pictures. From the first day I swallowed my pride stuffed myself into that swimming suit and had my husband gather the evidence. It was hard. I cried but I was also so done. Done with feeling sick, miserable, tired, weak, ugly, and ample.(I was told this is the "new proper word" for FAT.) I didn't know what I could fix or if I could fix anything but I was going to find out. Many of you have been following this blog from the first day I began writing. You have seen those pictures!! As I started writing I began to purge and heal. Along the way you have been a big part of my journey. Your words of encouragement and knowing that you are all over the world watching, praying, changing, moving, eating better, and reclaiming your own lives has lifted me up and even at times carried me. This is a big reason I keep going. Because you have told me I can. I thank you for that. Now some little ideas. Like I said- before pictures. They can help you to see first of all what you really do look like all over. They can discourage but I use them to motivate. Movement. I don't really like going to a gym but I disliked myself more. I was the big girl in almost every class I took. I took Water aerobic, zumba, Step, weights, yoga, and many more. I was the big one in the back. I had to build a bubble around myself and forget the stares. Almost every time there was someone who said they were so glad to see me there. That I inspired them. Were there some stares and some chuckles? Sure. I even said to one young man one day " this would not be funny if I was your mother trying to save her life." I shouldn't have but he shouldn't have. I had to not let those things stop me. Maybe adopt a little bit of a "I'll show them what I can do" attitude. When the scale did not reflect what I felt I had been doing I invested in a weight scale that measures not only my weight but my water, muscle, fat, and BMI. When those numbers changed that was a great motivation. My BMI when I got the scale after losing almost 50 lbs still was 40.7% with fat at 63.4%. Wow. As those numbers changed I was able to see physical progress. I have a folder and I take out the materials I have saved and look at them to remind myself of where I've been and where I can easily return to. I have a prescription from the urologist that I needed to be evaluated for incontinence of the bladder. Evaluation for surgery. No way was I having surgery. If I got rid of some of this belly could it lessen the pressure on my bladder? That answer was yes. I took measurements all over my body every few months. Maybe every 4. If I did it more often I got discouraged if the numbers hadn't gone done enough in my mind. I researched shoes and invested in good lace up walking shoes. I researched protein and found a brand that works good for my body and I like. ( if I don't like it I'm not going to use it.) I had to try new foods so I didn't get bored. I had to learn to cook all kinds of veggies and in the process I learned to like them I built a support system. I joined Weight Watchers because I needed to be accountable to a scale that was not my own. I needed to hear others challenges and ideas. I invested time, money, and energy in myself. I am always looking for new things to keep me going. I have a support system of ladies now that report to me how their day has been on eating and ask me how my day has been. People I would have never met sitting in my recliner in my home. I have a group that I hike with, people I can walk with, people who challenge me to walk farther, I guess what I am trying to say is that I can keep going because there are others helping me along the way. We help each other. We cheer each other on. A common thing that is said at the Narcotic anonymous meeting is, Keep on Keepin' on. That's just what I'm going to do.