Holding my "before" favorite shirt after losing 125 pounds on my journey to better health.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Carry On

  I got this little picture from a friend of mine named  RaeNyce.  She had posted it on FaceBook and I really got a chuckle out of it.  I made a copy and keep it where I see it every day. I once again went into my annual physical and passed with flying colors.  All the lab work came back better than ever. My weight is staying stable. Everything looked great.  Went in for a DEXA bone scan and then got the bad news.  I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis.  My legs and hips are in a moderate risk for fracture  but my spine is in a high risk for fracture.  I knew it was one of those diseases that I would be prone to because my mom and dad both had it.  I have lifted weights and done resistance on my muscles and knew that I needed to do weight bearing exercises.  I walk for miles and miles. I was doing all that. I guess I thought I was going to pass with flying colors. I have been knocked down a little by this. I guess the fear about what I can and can't do has really bothered me.  It is a thought that was not in my head before. "If I lift my little grandson is it going to cause a fracture?" "What about a big bump while riding in my side by side?"  I don't like that little fear in my head. Just that moment of shock,  "WAIT, are you sure your safe to do this?"  I have been struggling and been quite emotional. 
     When I worked as a nurse I took care of a little sweet lady named Alta. She had osteoporosis. She was bed ridden. When she did need to get up to go to the Dr. the aide would help her get into a body brace and leg braces. She was not allowed to put weight on her legs.  She was in constant pain.  I know that some of this chatter in my head is from seeing her. Some of the chatter comes from watching my own mom shake and complain of the pain in her legs if she stood for any amount of time. I have to remind myself that their journey is not my journey.  I  also know that research and medications that can help it have come so far. I just have to remind myself of that.
     Today I got up and went for my brisk walk.  I did my exercises and a few more that have been added to strengthen my back muscles. I am doing research and finding some of the answers that were hanging in the air. I will have to learn to live with  my chatter  that will keep saying to me. "What If?"  I will just have to answer it back. "Sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and carry on....."

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