House is full again

My life has changed once again.  For years now I have had the time and freedom to come and go as I wanted. To exercise, shop, and do my errands. This summer I have been given the wonderful opportunity to have my two grand's spend almost every day with me. They are good boys and I have spent mornings with them before school for several years now but this is different.  A challenge for me to figure out. When to exercise and how?  I have been using this as a reason to not exercise and I have to change my mind. What has added to this challenge is that they want to spend as much time with their cousins as possible so that adds 3 more boys to the mix. It is fun, it keeps me busy. It also keeps them busy, and happy.  We have to stay inside most of the time with the temperatures so hot but I have a large cool empty basement. (A boys haven for huts!)  I have had to really scold myself and remind myself that there are moms all over the world that can fit exercise into their busy lives. I have a few options and I need to get going.  Walking early in the morning  when it is cooler. They come about 8 most days. Take them swimming in the afternoon. Good for all of us. Exercise videos. I dug out my wii fit to see if that would help me get going and so far I have not been able to grab a turn. It was a hit with all the boys and they spend quite a bit of time challenging each other to different activities. It wears them out so maybe it was not such a bad idea after all.   Also the different foods that I have in the house.  I still try to eat healthy but once in a while a treat calls to me. Usually when I do indulge one of them reminds me that I really shouldn't be eating that!  I am surprised at how much they have learned.  We have discussions often about "healthy and unhealthy" foods. At this point some of them are pretty young to fully understand that concept. I just explain that any food eaten in large amounts can be unhealthy. They seem to understand that. I talk to  them  about exercise and workouts. It would probably be more effective if I demonstrated to them by actually doing some exercise or workouts. Sounds like I am in need of a attitude adjustment. This has really opened my eyes that I need to be willing to adjust and try new options. It has also given me a greater admiration for others that are working on their own healthy journey.  Especially those of you who are working, caring for children, and still taking time out to exercise.  " You are my inspiration and motivation." Thank you for showing me that it can be done.

Frozen Shoulder update

I once again have been able to prove that doing exercises does help your body recover.  I posted in an earlier post about my frozen left shoulder.  I had very limited movement and pain....oh, my the pain!  I am happy to report that my shoulder is unthawing and at a faster rate that I ever hoped for.  I have been diligent in doing the list of exercises that the Dr. gave to me and I can really see progress.  I have a ways to go but If I go real slow I can raise my arm straight up like I want to be called on to answer a question.  That is real progress! The movement still causes quite a bit of pain and I have to go slowly but I can do it.  That was impossible a month ago.  I still have limited movement in some of the directions but can see improvement there also. In some strange way I am glad I went though this because it has given me a opportunity to learn many things.   I have learned to appreciate movement more than I ever did before.  I  learned that exercise can help tremendously when done correctly and regularly. I  learned to ask questions and research. I learned that I can handle the pain that in my research was rated as intense and severe, and that  I don't need pain pills to get through an injury.  That has been a great fear for me.  "What if..?" I get an injury and have to take pain pills. (If I ever do need them I also know how to handle it thanks to my NA meetings.)  I learned that I can tell the Dr. NO THANK YOU, I don't want them and walk away. I have learned to watch and make sure I am not protecting that shoulder to much and limiting that movement I can now do. I have learned that my body can heal and wants to heal. This is just a small sample of the lessons I learned from this and I wanted to write them here so I would not forget them.  I just wanted to share this and hope you are looking for some of the things that you can learn as you go through your struggles and trials.

How did you keep going?

    Many of you have contacted me and asked me, "how do you keep going?" I have thought about this and want to give you some answers and ideas. I always want to remind you that my way might not be the best way for you. I didn't know it would be the best for me when I started each of these things. The most important thing is, my journey is my journey. Your journey is your journey. They will be different. Our bodies are not going to respond the same way to things. Foods that impact me to gain or lose might do the opposite for you. So here we go with some ideas that work for me. I took pictures. From the first day I swallowed my pride stuffed myself into that swimming suit and had my husband gather the evidence. It was hard. I cried but I was also so done. Done with feeling sick, miserable, tired, weak, ugly, and ample.(I was told this is the "new proper word" for FAT.) I didn't know what I could fix or if I could fix anything but I was going to find out. Many of you have been following this blog from the first day I began writing. You have seen those pictures!! As I started writing I began to purge and heal. Along the way you have been a big part of my journey. Your words of encouragement and knowing that you are all over the world watching, praying, changing, moving, eating better, and reclaiming your own lives has lifted me up and even at times carried me.  This is a big reason I keep going. Because you have told me I can. I thank you for that.  Now some little ideas.  Like I said- before pictures. They can help you to see first of all what you really do look like all over. They can discourage but I use them to motivate. Movement. I don't really like going to a gym but I disliked myself more. I was the big girl in almost every class I took. I took Water aerobic, zumba, Step, weights, yoga, and many more. I was the big one in the back. I had to build a bubble around myself and forget the stares. Almost every time there was someone who said they were so glad to see me there. That I inspired them. Were there some stares and some chuckles? Sure. I even said to one young man one day " this would not be funny if I was your mother trying to save her life."  I shouldn't have but he shouldn't have. I had to not let those things stop me. Maybe adopt a little bit of a "I'll show them what I can do" attitude. When the scale did not reflect what I felt I had been doing I invested in a weight scale that measures not only my weight but my water, muscle, fat, and BMI. When those numbers changed that was a great motivation. My BMI when I got the scale after losing almost 50 lbs still was 40.7% with fat at 63.4%. Wow.  As those numbers changed I was able to see physical progress.  I have a folder and I take out the materials I have saved and look at them to remind myself of where I've been and where I can easily return to. I have a prescription from the urologist that I needed to be evaluated for incontinence of the bladder. Evaluation for surgery. No way was I having surgery.  If I got rid of some of this belly could it lessen the pressure on my bladder?  That answer was yes.  I took measurements all over my body every few months. Maybe every 4. If I did it more often I got discouraged if the numbers hadn't gone done enough in my mind.   I researched shoes and invested in good lace up walking shoes. I researched protein and found a brand that works good for my body and I like. ( if I don't like it I'm not going to use it.)  I had to try new foods so I didn't get bored.  I had to learn to cook all kinds of veggies and in the process I learned to like them  I built a support system. I joined Weight Watchers because I needed to be accountable to a scale that was not my own. I needed to hear others challenges and ideas. I invested time, money, and energy in myself. I am always looking for new things to keep me going. I have a support system of ladies now that report to me how their day has been on eating and ask  me how my day has been. People I would have never met sitting in my recliner in my home. I have a group that I hike with, people I can walk with, people who challenge me to walk farther, I guess what I am trying to say is that I can keep going because there are others helping me along the way. We help each other. We cheer each other on.  A common thing that is said at the Narcotic anonymous meeting is, Keep on Keepin' on.  That's just what I'm going to do.

Making new friends while walking.

   I was so thrilled to see this group of special people at our local Weight Watchers 5K. This photo only shows a small portion of the group.  We did this last year and had a small group of walkers but had a lot of fun. This year we decided to invite the member's families  and friends.  We also gave a special invitation to dogs on leashes.  We had a total of 68 walking, running, riding(in strollers) and laughing people. I think we had 8-9 well behaved dogs.  It was hot! But everyone seemed to enjoy it. There were quite a few who had never dreamed that they would be doing a 5K of any kind and they did great. We had asked for donations of canned goods to bless our local shelter and were flooded with donations. What a wonderful group of people I get to associate with. They keep me strong and focused on my healthy journey.  Way to Go!!!

Frozen Shoulder What??

   Over the past year or so I have been dealing with an interesting situation. I would go to reach for something with my left arm and pain would shoot down to my hand.  Wow, really bad pain. Then achy pain all the time. I was propping my arm up on a pillow at night. Wearing my hand braces and a shoulder brace at night. Ointments rubbed on it seemed to help a little. On the worse days I would take a couple of ibuprofen. (I try to not take anything for pain.)  I wondered if it was related to the surgeries I had years ago on my hands to release adhesions.  I also had surgery on my Right arm to release adhesion that had tacked and entrapped the nerves clear up into my shoulder.  The Dr. at that time felt that the left arm was not as bad so wait and watch.  Now this began. I kept trying to ignore it and eventually began noticing that I was not using that arm like I use to.  I was protecting it and it was becoming stiff.  Really stiff.  It got so I could not move my shoulder in some directions. Some directions were not as bad of a problem.  I couldn't lift it up from my side more than about 6 inches. I couldn't lift my grand baby. I couldn't lift anything with that arm.  Getting dressed and undressed  was not fun.  It was so frustrating. I finally decided I better get to the bottom of it. My family Dr. informed me that he thought it was arthritis and I probably needed Rotator Cuff surgery. (That's one of the reasons I had let it go on so long I didn't want surgery.)  I was not a happy girl. He took X-rays and sent me to an Orthopedic surgeon to hear the plan. The Ortho took one look at my X-rays and said, " just a little arthritis nothing to worry about right now." After watching my lack of range of motion he said you have, "Adhesive Capsulitis (frozen shoulder)"  The capsule of connective tissue thickens and tightens around the shoulder joint restricting movement.   Okay, now what do I do?  He told me that there are stages to the syndrome and that it usually gets better over time.  There are three stages: Freezing Stage, Frozen Stage, and Thawing Stage. He said from my examination that I was going from Frozen Stage into Thawing Stage. He gave me a list of exercises to do with that arm. With a word of caution to go very slow and not inflame it. It is going to be a challenge because I have taught myself to guard and protect that shoulder. Now I am to gently push and pull my arm  slowly to unfreeze it. This may sound like a frustrated post but when I heard that diagnoses and that I (probably) don't need surgery I just about danced out of his office. This is something I know how to fix. I will recover! There is no reason why this syndrome decided to visit me at this time. I have always had a little bit of residual weakness in that arm and shoulder.  There is nothing I could have done to stop the progression or speed up the stages. It just takes time. Complete return to normal or close to normal strength and motion typically during the Thaw Stage  takes from 6 months to 2 years.  The most important thing is to not injure the shoulder. I will just continue doing my group of exercises and hope that the Thawing Stage goes fast. (Maybe the hot summer in St. George will speed it along?)

Osteoporosis update

I have an update on my "new" diagnosis of osteoporosis. I was able to spend some time with my Dr. discussing the treatment and results. I have new hope. For a while I was just so stunned I quit exercising and just had a huge pitty party. I now have hope and the mental strength to fight back to try and improve my diagnosis. My Dr. let me know that it was very possible to have the bone mass increased. I don't really like the way the Actonel works in increasing bone mass. I will continue to research other options.  I do have some side affects from it for about a week after taking my once a month dose.  I have been through worse.(withdrawal from methadone lasted for months)   I have pumped up my Calcium and Vit D. I am slowly eliminating my consumption of Soda. I have continued with my weight lifting and focusing more on the muscles along my spine. My Dr. has assured me that it would take a significant  fall to fracture my vertebrae  This was a big fear for me. I now know that the weight loss contributed to this. I know that I should have been focusing more on walking and weight lifting in the early stages of my journey. Tha H2o aerobics were great for so many things but did not give me much in the weight bearing department. Also both my mom and dad had it which really increased my risk. For a while my mind kept saying,"Why? Why? Why? I now am able to look forward and say, "what can I do to fight this?" If I can encourage you to do anything it would be know your history and risk factors. Get your Calcium and Vitamin D.  I knew some of the risk factors. A few I have found out since the diagnosis. So now I know and I can continue moving, eating right, and staying as healthy as I can on this journey. Thank you for all your words of encouragement. I'm going to "Just Keep Swimming!"

Don't Do It

How many times have you let some ones comments stop you from doing something you know is very important to your health? Don't do it. Don't let others sway you. I have a friend who had her feelings hurt by someone who really didn't realize what they were doing. They made some comment about something this person was eating and from there it just went wrong.  The first thing that pops into mind is they are judging. The emotions begin to rise, the thoughts about what they are thinking, the anger, or embarrassment come into play. It is very easy to let some ones comment impact in a big way.   If you are on your own healthy journey then you know what works for YOU. Some of you have the time to prepare wonderful healthy meals. Some of you don't. Some of you have to grab something at the store. That is okay if it works for you.  What works for you  may not work for me.  What works for me may not work for you. I have found something that works for me. Find something that works for you and hang onto it. All the time I hear people say that they try this or that to become healthy. That's great if it works for you and is HEALTHY. I encourage you all to explore following a healthy path that involves real food. I don't think that some of the weight loss plans are something that can be sustained long term. If you are having to take shakes, or pills, or shots, or special prepared meals for all meals then that concerns me. I had to learn and relearn how to have a good relationship with the foods I ate. I never ate fruits or veggies. Whole grains? Nope, none of that.  Portions were a big one that impacts my weight. If I have something I really enjoy I tend to want more and more. I love white bread and butter. I have learned that I can not leave it alone if it is in my house.  I have tried many many types of Multi-grain breads and have found one that is pretty satisfying to me. And I don't eat a whole loaf at a time. (yes I use to)  I will always have a  challenge  with weight control. I will always have a challenge with some of the things I use to eat as a comfort food. I still want them when I am stressed, tired, hungry, etc. I know that weight loss is hard. Really hard. Maintaining a healthy weight is hard too. Really hard. I have to work on it all the time. Will I ever have a time when I can relax and say, "awww, I made it." I don't think so. I don't feel bad about that either. I know that the choice I have made and the commitment I have will give me time.  Time to feel good. Time to travel and time to spend with my family. To me that is all worth it.