Frenzy

  A few years ago I went to a Transformer movie with my little red headed grandson.  At one point in the movie this little creepy mumbling robot comes crawling out. I physically shivered and "red" said, " are you okay granny?"  I clenched my fists and continued watching the movie but told him later that "frenzy" really freaked me out.  A few years later when I was at the rehab I received a package from my family and there was a little tiny frenzy toy packed in there from red.  I began carrying that around and realized that he and I had both recognized some feeling that I had when looking at frenzy. At the time I first saw frenzy my  life was a real frenzy. My mind, my health, my pain and my pain pill addiction.  I was out of control and on a fast track to death.  As I continued with my rehab I would get letters and little packages often and always tucked inside somewhere was a picture of frenzy. I studied him long and hard trying to figure out why he bothered me so much. I came to the realization that I felt just like that inside.  I didn't like what inside looked like or how I felt. It was just not good at all.  I made a little necklace that the frenzy toy hangs on and wore it for a long time as a reminder that I never want to feel or look like that inside again. I use a lot of little tools like frenzy to help me keep on track. I am so grateful for that little boy and the sensitivity and fun he provided for me in a very frenzied time of my life.